Textbook Relationships
I'm tired of all this social crap of defining what everyone "should" be. We can be told theoretically how to be a good person, but just by practicing these rules, does that genuinely make someone an actual good person?
Actually it seems people are MORE caught up about their "theoretical" goodness than practicality. Sounds similar to the idea of "book smarts" vs. "street smarts".
Anyways, I say this because I'm sick of trying to be a "good" boyfriend in theory. All this crap at "what to do when you like a girl", like steps to take starting with "1) ask her out"... etc. etc. blah blah.... is driving me insane. It's making me base my actions on a list of stupid procedure, instead of doing things from impulse and emotion. Actually that sounds bad in terms of like a business standpoint, but doing business is very opposite than doing things from love. When it comes to love, impulse and emotion is what defines you, not the petty "procedure".
Do what you want. If you're in love, and you two know it, do what you want. Don't be afraid to be judged upon doing what the girl or guy is "supposed" to do, because a textbook can't show you how to love. So why follow the textbook in the first place?
If anyone's seen the French movie "A Very Long Engagement", you'll notice how they were both deathly in love. And the guy seemed so fruity, but did that matter? No, because he did everything out of love, and didn't care what 'society' thinks or says. And neither should we.
Actually it seems people are MORE caught up about their "theoretical" goodness than practicality. Sounds similar to the idea of "book smarts" vs. "street smarts".
Anyways, I say this because I'm sick of trying to be a "good" boyfriend in theory. All this crap at "what to do when you like a girl", like steps to take starting with "1) ask her out"... etc. etc. blah blah.... is driving me insane. It's making me base my actions on a list of stupid procedure, instead of doing things from impulse and emotion. Actually that sounds bad in terms of like a business standpoint, but doing business is very opposite than doing things from love. When it comes to love, impulse and emotion is what defines you, not the petty "procedure".
Do what you want. If you're in love, and you two know it, do what you want. Don't be afraid to be judged upon doing what the girl or guy is "supposed" to do, because a textbook can't show you how to love. So why follow the textbook in the first place?
If anyone's seen the French movie "A Very Long Engagement", you'll notice how they were both deathly in love. And the guy seemed so fruity, but did that matter? No, because he did everything out of love, and didn't care what 'society' thinks or says. And neither should we.
2 Comments:
Agreed. We have instincts and impulses for a reason. Nobody can tell you what to do or who to be - if you followed every 'textbook' example, you wouldn't be 'you', you would be someone else's fantasy of a person. People like you for who you are, not what someone else thinks is good. Don't stray from being yourself. ;)
This be Peter Badea,
I've learned recently the importance of trusting one's instinct on many matters...it really IS all about just doing what feels right, and what seems right to you, and I'd say I'm a firm believer in having your own ideals as general guidelines. I'm not saying, nor do I think anyone is saying that you should be what other people consider a good person, though to make it through society whole, your ideals should probably be at least fairly close to the norm, else you run the risk of being exiled because of your strange beliefs. In the case of love, no rules apply =P... have as weird and crazy ideals as you like, as long as you're lucky enough to find someone who agrees with them and accepts you for who you are. And hey, while we're at it... be spontaneous =) that's always fun! Rules and ideals are nice, but I'd say more as general guidelines, since there is always an exception to the rule, and thus, always somewhere where even the most refined morals will fail you, and leave you trapped.
So yeah... its almost 3 am now, and I'm sick of working on English, so I hope you enjoyed my half-dead rant, and since when has there been a textbook for how to be a "good" boyfriend. As long as you listne to the girl and respect her, do whatever works man, and whatever keeps the spark alive!
~Peter
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